כל מילין דעלמא לא תליין אלא ברעותא[i], All matters of the world, depend on nothing but will.
A wealthy donor of the school spoke about the first time my grandfather came to his office to ask for a donation for his school. The speaker’s father had been a donor and had passed away, now my grandfather was hoping the son would follow his father’s example.
The speaker saw my grandfather through the window. “Rabbi Kastel walked toward the office-building. He hesitated, stopped, turned around and walked a few steps away. Then he turned around and walked toward the building again. Stopped again...he was nervous. But he really had nothing to worry about, we all loved him”.
You are strong, equipped to overcome obstacles to doing what is right, including yourself.